Q: Hello, I love you, won’t you tell me your name? A: You have quite a bit of vomit in your hair.

Q: All the lonely people, where do they all come from? A: Baltimore.

Q: Oh won’t you please take me home? A: OK Axl, but finish that bucket of chicken first, I don’t want a greasy mess in my car.

Q: Does anybody really know what time it is? A: Hey, yeah, maybe try the guy over there with the fucking watch on.

Q: Do you, you feel like I do? A: GOD YES! My ass has been like a pneumatic Salad Shooter ever since we ate that curry stew.

Q: So, are you experienced? A: I did watch my roommate masturbate once in college.

Q: Tell me where did you sleep last night? A: The Hampton Inn around the corner. Not bad, comfortable beds, free breakfast.

Q: Why can’t this be love? A: I’m your therapist, and although such feelings of transference are common, it is inappropriate.