The Fast and the Follicle: Coif in the Fast Lane

This is the awesome new packaging for my hair stuff.* Because speed-limit hair is for pussies. Bad hair, keep right; Style is passing you on the left like a red Mustang. Better turn on your hairstyle hazard lights, because your look’s out of gas, bitch!
Seriously, this packaging says, “Touch this hair and buckle up, sexy lady, we’re taking off on a short, fast, perilous, one-way straight-line pleasure drag race. No need to stop for foreplay gas here; I’ll be gone in 60 seconds.”
I shared this on Facebook, and our good friend Davin Wood posted this funny take on absurd marketing to men’s masculinity from Sean Lock.

That fancy salon cuts my hair in kilometers.
*You think hair that looks this good just happens?