No, DerpApp, I Will Not Give You Access to My 401(k)

I don’t play Facebook game apps or use many social media connection apps. I don’t take “Which Full House Character Are You?” surveys. (Answer: John Wayne Gacy.)

But some apps linking music or feeds with social media make sense. I am tinkering with feed pages to try to organize the 6,000 daily news and content resources I jam into my cluttered skull. I was checking out, which lets you set up and customize pages and tabs with stuff from sites you’re interested in.

So apps to display my Facebook and Twitter feeds make perfect sense for a personalized home page. I selected the Facebook widget and clicked connect. It prompted the list of permissions for me to grant the app access to my Facebook account:

  • will receive the following info: your public profile, friends list, News Feed and likes.

Uh, ok, sure. NetVibes will need access to my public profile and feed to share them in the widget. Friends list and likes…not sure but seems harmless and unintrusive enough. Go.

  • would like to post to Facebook for you.

Ugh, really? Like the way I get continuous updates that Kelli is listening to Cyndi Lauper on Spotify? Now you’ll be able to notify friends that “Doug just created an RSS Feed of ‘Cats Eating Pudding’ on NetVibes”? Oh good grief, fine. Next.

  • would like to manage your Pages.

What? Why is this even a consideration? Would also like access to my Gmail and my checking accounts? I actually turn down any app request that asks for permission to post on my behalf. But this is excessively ridiculous and doesn’t make any sense to serve the user or Seems providers would do better to offer the least intrusive options that encouraged the most people to use their services. If all the widgets on are this invasive, I’ll look for another option.

The logical extension of the uncomfortably inquisitive app:

FunApp would like to:

-Have access to your friend list
-Post to your timeline
-Manage your pages
-Change your hairstyle
-Buy you a new wardrobe
-Put your “art” in storage