Late Hope for Newt Gingrich: Polls Say He Would Leap 17 Points if He Changed His Name to “Nate Goonbritches”

OK, we thought this was funnier a month ago when Newt was still a feasibly viable GOP candidate. But having grown up in Atlanta, we have a special appreciation for Newt’s charms, most notably that his name sounds like a McDonaldland character. We were duly inspired to consider other, more electable names for Newt Gingrich:

  • Nerp Gefiltefish
  • Nude Jockitch
  • Goob Nosetwitch
  • Snoop Blingbitch
  • Flute Tangbridge
  • Noony Pringlecrunch
  • Ned Ditchwitch
  • Noob Ostrich
  • Nerf Lightswitch
  • Norb Clamwich
  • Molly Ringwald

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