OK, we thought this was funnier a month ago when Newt was still a feasibly viable GOP candidate. But having grown up in Atlanta, we have a special appreciation for Newt’s charms, most notably that his name sounds like a McDonaldland character. We were duly inspired to consider other, more electable names for Newt Gingrich:

• Nerp Gefiltefish
• Nude Jockitch
• Goob Nosetwitch
• Snoop Blingbitch
• Flute Tangbridge
• Noony Pringlecrunch
• Ned Ditchwitch
• Noob Ostrich
• Nerf Lightswitch
• Norb Clamwich
• Molly Ringwald