Thank you, thank you, Burger King, for delivering this gem of relentless comedy today. We now amuse ourselves:

• Burger King launches new soup menu with the introduction of Seattle Stew 
• New on the Burger King breakfast menu: Sausage, egg and Seabiscuit
• The Whopper will now be referred to as the Whiiiilllburrr
• Now available for a limited time at Burger King: The Filly Cheesesteak
• A Whopper’s a horse, of course, of course… 
• Just announced that Burger King will replace old buns with a new product they’re calling Thorough Bread
• I’m LOVING the new Quiniela Box meals from Burger King
• Just had a delicious Burger King salad with a side of ranch dressage