The Huffington Post headline “Taco Bell Drops Breakfast Bombshell” seems prescient, here.
This commercial has annoyed and amused me for a month or so. Taco Bell introduced a new foodstuff envelope called the Grilled Stuft Nacho. The ad makes scant mention of what’s in it or what it tastes like, focusing instead on portability as its most desirable characteristic.
So, who does Taco Bell think this on-the-go edible nacho purse would appeal to? Perhaps the businessman seeking a quick bite on his way to a meeting across town? Maybe the mom with the kids in the car coming home from soccer practice?
Well, no. Taco Bell has a different demographic in mind: The high school kid who’s fucking your daughter. In the ad, we see an older teen boy in close up, running frantically in slow motion. He looks back over his shoulder and then we see a father, slobbering with rage as he pursues the teen down a sleepy residential street. The voiceover says what we couldn’t otherwise believe Taco Bell would want us to think: “Why would you ever need to eat nachos on the go? Let’s say her parents came home early.”
Is this really the brand identity Taco Bell wants?
“Once you’ve stuft her taco, grab that Taco Bell Grilled Stuft Nacho you keep handy by the window for your hasty departure. You’ll need all the energy you can get to escape a brutal assault at the hands of a maniacally enraged dad who just caught you sexually violating his daughter.
And what young predator has time to sit down for a meal? You’re going to be busy pumping your young date full of Fireball shots, just in case your AXE Body Spray sex cloud doesn’t completely overwhelm her defenses.
And at just $1.29, you’ll have allowance money left over to buy those Roofies from your uncle Randy who drives a van. Taco Bell!”